I arrived at my grandmother's house 2 days ago. I packed all I could into my little car (which by the way, does NOT like to go up hills with a trunk-full of shoes and bath products) and drove the 6.5 hours across this great state of New York. I spent almost every hour from the moment I arrived until around midnight last night studying for these placement exams I had today. The theory wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, though I was definitely still a little rusty, and the history was ok. I'm definitely glad I studied but I probably could've stood to study a little more.
Either way, I went to NYU for the first time today. It is a completely different atmosphere than Cornell. First off it's an eighth of the size and completely urban. It's also just a different feeling from when I "went away to college." Now, studying what I want and furthering my career goals are the main purposes, not to go to college. I already went to college...now I'm going to class...finally, haha. I like it though. I met with the director of the department who seems very nice and approachable. We talked about Stucky a bit (it's so awesome to have a famous teacher/advisor) and I explained my details honors project which they seemed to enjoy. The main purpose of meeting with him though was to pick a new composition teacher for lessons because...about 4 days ago I received an email from the woman I was going to study with saying that she will no longer be teaching at NYU effective immediately. I'd be crazily shocked, but it seems to go with the overall theme of this experience...letdown emails. Either way, that part should be fine.
I was talking a little bit about commuting, real jobs, and living in the city with my family yesterday. My mom, grandmother, and two aunts decided to have a little open forum about all the impossibilities of my plans and it was incredibly frustrating. Every time we bring it up it makes me want to quit a little bit. It's just so debilitating. My mother is the most supportive but my aunts are much less. They think that the city is impossible and nothing has changed in the past 30 years...but EVERYTHING has changed. I'm doing better now and have decided to look for sublets and apartment shares listed on the NYU system. It'll be cheaper, more immediate, and won't need as many credit checks or overly-high deposits. I'm feeling pretty good about it right now (of course, I can't do any of it until I get a real job which will hopefully happen soon)...but I'm sure it'll just be a matter of time before my family shoots down my dreams again.
I definitely have an expiration date for living here. I give my sanity 6 months...tops
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Number 7: It's a difficult balance
I just watched a few videos on Steinhardt's website about my program. One of my best-ies texted me about what a great time he's having visiting NYC. I should be ecstatic, and I am. Scoring is what I want to do more than anything else in this world and I love the city...but I can't seem to stay excited. The stress is overwhelming. I need a job. Now. And this whole commuting thing is incredibly inconvenient and difficult, not to mention expensive and kind of defeating. To be so close to your dream but not be able to completely fulfill it right now is horribly crippling. I need a job, I need an apt, but I have neither and it's still going to take a lot of hard work to get either. All the while I still want to be absolutely focused on my goal, my program. I want to excel and really make it happen but it's hard when everything else is in the way, taking up your time, stealing your joy.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Number 6: Welcome home '05 Chevy Aveo
There was nothing easy about it because a big unexpected complication is dealing with difficult people, aka my father who acted like a grumpy little child during the entire experience but whatever, it's done. At least that's one thing down. It's cute, it's mine, I love it.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Number 5: Commuting...not so easy
I thought, I'll just commute into the city, it'll be fine. Issue 1, distance from grandma's house to nearest train station, about 20-30 minutes. Bigger issue 2, IT'S FRICKIN EXPENSIVE TO TAKE THE TRAIN EVERYDAY! Over the summer I've been working at an Old Navy...which I hate. I just picked it because it was there, and easy for the summer, but I hate the monotony. I hate that there's no sense of accomplishment, you fold a table of shirts and 2 minutes later it's destroyed again. But most of all, I HATE dealing with customers. I'm an ivy league honors graduate and I feel like I'm working sooo beneath myself. That sounds horrible, I know, and I'm really not as big of a pretentious prick as I may seem right now, but I have big dreams. I want to do something challenging and something I feel is worthwhile. I'd rather have a desk job and do data entry then bug people about opening Old Navy Cards. I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaally don't care about Old Navy Cards.
Sorry, tangent. Anyway, dispite my hate for the job, I'm going to transfer to another Old Navy until I get a "real" job in the city...which needs to happen soon because whoops, health insurance ends on September 1st. I can just look into transfering to the ON 12 minutes away from my grandmother's house and just go into the city twice a week for classes, but eventually I AM going to get a job...and then it's going to be crazy-expensive.
We were looking into possible leasing cars because either way I need to get to some job somewhere and some station somewhere but that also doesn't seem very economical. So we're now looking into buying a used car (and by "we" I mean me and my mom). Today (yes, finally in the present) we spent the entire day in a Chevy dealership. We found a great 2006 Aveo with 44,000 miles and 34 highway MPG for a great price. My mom also doesn't have fantastic credit and most everything is in my dad's name anyway so we'd need just a signature, not any money, just a signature to seal the deal. He complained but was coming to the dealership...until he found out which dealership it was. Apparently 20 years and 2 owners ago he brought a car he bought back to the dealership to replace a dead engine. His warranty was up and they couldn't do it. He felt swindled, developed a grudge and has hated this dealership ever since. He refused to come in. Now we're back to square one.
Sorry, tangent. Anyway, dispite my hate for the job, I'm going to transfer to another Old Navy until I get a "real" job in the city...which needs to happen soon because whoops, health insurance ends on September 1st. I can just look into transfering to the ON 12 minutes away from my grandmother's house and just go into the city twice a week for classes, but eventually I AM going to get a job...and then it's going to be crazy-expensive.
We were looking into possible leasing cars because either way I need to get to some job somewhere and some station somewhere but that also doesn't seem very economical. So we're now looking into buying a used car (and by "we" I mean me and my mom). Today (yes, finally in the present) we spent the entire day in a Chevy dealership. We found a great 2006 Aveo with 44,000 miles and 34 highway MPG for a great price. My mom also doesn't have fantastic credit and most everything is in my dad's name anyway so we'd need just a signature, not any money, just a signature to seal the deal. He complained but was coming to the dealership...until he found out which dealership it was. Apparently 20 years and 2 owners ago he brought a car he bought back to the dealership to replace a dead engine. His warranty was up and they couldn't do it. He felt swindled, developed a grudge and has hated this dealership ever since. He refused to come in. Now we're back to square one.
Number 4: Homeless?
So, my roommates kicked me out. I can't get something by myself yet, because I don't have a good enough job, or credit rating. I'd ask my dad to be a garantor but I'd rather wait until I get a better job and have a little savings. So...I decided to live with my aunt in White Plains for my first semester at NYU. (I've since planned on going part-time for my first semester).
It's funny, when I was at my grandmother's house, my aunt's asked me if anything was going to change with my roommates. I laughed and said "No. Everything's fine. We're friends." PUH! Rule #1 to starting a new life somewhere. Try to do anything you can on your own. Trust no one to not screw you over.
So, 3-4 days after my friend's email I call my aunt. She says she always figured this would happen because they have jobs, and I don't, and they'd be afraid they'd have to support me. BS. I rely on no one. Well, I try not to at least. I make plans and have ideas and goals, and even if it's extremely uncomfortable, I try my best to make it happen. I'm a "big picture" kind of person and if one avenue is blocked, I try to find another. I'm a dreamer, and that's all I've ever been and ever will be...hopefully...if this experience doesn't kill my deep-seeded optimism about my own abilities. She talked about jobs and renting and costs, most of which I was already aware...I did my research. But she said yes. Two days later, she takes it back, saying that her 1-bedroom will be too cramped for us to live in for 2 years. I say "it's not going to be 2 years. It's only going to be 1 semester." She says, "you can't find a job and apt in 1 semester." I say, "can't you let me try?" She says, "no." So now I'm living with my grandmother in Orange County, a full hour and a half if not further outside of the city. But I'm getting out in a semester, you wait and see.
It's funny, when I was at my grandmother's house, my aunt's asked me if anything was going to change with my roommates. I laughed and said "No. Everything's fine. We're friends." PUH! Rule #1 to starting a new life somewhere. Try to do anything you can on your own. Trust no one to not screw you over.
So, 3-4 days after my friend's email I call my aunt. She says she always figured this would happen because they have jobs, and I don't, and they'd be afraid they'd have to support me. BS. I rely on no one. Well, I try not to at least. I make plans and have ideas and goals, and even if it's extremely uncomfortable, I try my best to make it happen. I'm a "big picture" kind of person and if one avenue is blocked, I try to find another. I'm a dreamer, and that's all I've ever been and ever will be...hopefully...if this experience doesn't kill my deep-seeded optimism about my own abilities. She talked about jobs and renting and costs, most of which I was already aware...I did my research. But she said yes. Two days later, she takes it back, saying that her 1-bedroom will be too cramped for us to live in for 2 years. I say "it's not going to be 2 years. It's only going to be 1 semester." She says, "you can't find a job and apt in 1 semester." I say, "can't you let me try?" She says, "no." So now I'm living with my grandmother in Orange County, a full hour and a half if not further outside of the city. But I'm getting out in a semester, you wait and see.
Number 3: Loans, loans, loans
A word of advice to any college applicant: No matter how stressful the application process, never put off looking into financial aid deadlines until after you've finished everything. My priority deadline was February 1st...my acceptance letter was drafted the 3rd. I have nothing but loans.
No me gusta.
Also, the financial stress of application fees put me a month behind on credit card bills. The late fees pushed me over my credit limits. The over limit fees sent me into a spiral of debt that I am just now being able to remedy. My credit score suffered. Bad for loans. Bad for apartments. Bad for cars. Bad.
P.s. My laptop died and now I need to buy another one.
No me gusta.
Also, the financial stress of application fees put me a month behind on credit card bills. The late fees pushed me over my credit limits. The over limit fees sent me into a spiral of debt that I am just now being able to remedy. My credit score suffered. Bad for loans. Bad for apartments. Bad for cars. Bad.
P.s. My laptop died and now I need to buy another one.
Number 2: Roommates...
I had one roommate...I had two roommates...I had no roommates. My friend and I planned on living together ever since I got my acceptance letter. Around mid-April we decided to add another girl (that she knew, I met her once) so we can find better deals-per-person. Three-bedroom? Two, convertible three-bedroom? Whichever. We were all looking for the cheapest, safest place. At least that's what I thought.
They both had jobs, and good jobs at that, and I was going to be a student with a couple jobs so I can pay my rent each month. I didn't mind working hard, working late and living from paycheck to paycheck. It's what I was willing to do to live the dream. But I was going to be a student living with two people who had salaries large enough to appease the real estate gods. We were all fully aware of the situation for about 6 months. When I went to visit my grandmother in Orange County, two of us were going to go into the city and look at neighboorhoods, maybe some actual places. We were conference calling and emailing. We were calling brokers. Then one day we were discussing the brokers we called, everything seemed fine, but I received an email later on that night. It basically said..."you're out." Contrary to my thoughts that we were all on the "cheapest, safest place" train this whole time, commuting time became this HUGE deal and my friend said that since things seem more expensive around her workplace, maybe we should find seperate arrangements. Rather than first asking me if x price range was feasible, they just kicked me out. Me, the low-salary, not-so-great credit, student. Now I'm on the street. I was crushed because my dreams seemed dashed. I was upset that my good friend left me homeless. I was PISSED...because my good friend left me homeless.
Whatever.
They both had jobs, and good jobs at that, and I was going to be a student with a couple jobs so I can pay my rent each month. I didn't mind working hard, working late and living from paycheck to paycheck. It's what I was willing to do to live the dream. But I was going to be a student living with two people who had salaries large enough to appease the real estate gods. We were all fully aware of the situation for about 6 months. When I went to visit my grandmother in Orange County, two of us were going to go into the city and look at neighboorhoods, maybe some actual places. We were conference calling and emailing. We were calling brokers. Then one day we were discussing the brokers we called, everything seemed fine, but I received an email later on that night. It basically said..."you're out." Contrary to my thoughts that we were all on the "cheapest, safest place" train this whole time, commuting time became this HUGE deal and my friend said that since things seem more expensive around her workplace, maybe we should find seperate arrangements. Rather than first asking me if x price range was feasible, they just kicked me out. Me, the low-salary, not-so-great credit, student. Now I'm on the street. I was crushed because my dreams seemed dashed. I was upset that my good friend left me homeless. I was PISSED...because my good friend left me homeless.
Whatever.
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