I arrived at my grandmother's house 2 days ago. I packed all I could into my little car (which by the way, does NOT like to go up hills with a trunk-full of shoes and bath products) and drove the 6.5 hours across this great state of New York. I spent almost every hour from the moment I arrived until around midnight last night studying for these placement exams I had today. The theory wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, though I was definitely still a little rusty, and the history was ok. I'm definitely glad I studied but I probably could've stood to study a little more.
Either way, I went to NYU for the first time today. It is a completely different atmosphere than Cornell. First off it's an eighth of the size and completely urban. It's also just a different feeling from when I "went away to college." Now, studying what I want and furthering my career goals are the main purposes, not to go to college. I already went to college...now I'm going to class...finally, haha. I like it though. I met with the director of the department who seems very nice and approachable. We talked about Stucky a bit (it's so awesome to have a famous teacher/advisor) and I explained my details honors project which they seemed to enjoy. The main purpose of meeting with him though was to pick a new composition teacher for lessons because...about 4 days ago I received an email from the woman I was going to study with saying that she will no longer be teaching at NYU effective immediately. I'd be crazily shocked, but it seems to go with the overall theme of this experience...letdown emails. Either way, that part should be fine.
I was talking a little bit about commuting, real jobs, and living in the city with my family yesterday. My mom, grandmother, and two aunts decided to have a little open forum about all the impossibilities of my plans and it was incredibly frustrating. Every time we bring it up it makes me want to quit a little bit. It's just so debilitating. My mother is the most supportive but my aunts are much less. They think that the city is impossible and nothing has changed in the past 30 years...but EVERYTHING has changed. I'm doing better now and have decided to look for sublets and apartment shares listed on the NYU system. It'll be cheaper, more immediate, and won't need as many credit checks or overly-high deposits. I'm feeling pretty good about it right now (of course, I can't do any of it until I get a real job which will hopefully happen soon)...but I'm sure it'll just be a matter of time before my family shoots down my dreams again.
I definitely have an expiration date for living here. I give my sanity 6 months...tops
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Ignore your family. Your mom is the most supportive because she knows you and has lived with you for the last 22 years. Whatever your aunts know, they know second hand. And who gives a shit what the city's like, and if it's changed or not? Either way, millions of people have been living there, um, forever. If millions of people can do it, I'm pretty sure one more can. And your friends all know you can do it. Why? Because you can. Plain and simple. It probably all won't fall nicely into place and it probably won't end up happening on a time sched that you want/expect (though I don't need to tell you that 'cause you're smart, and therefore know that), but it'll happen because you'll make it happen. Because that's what people do. Shit happens and ya roll with it.
ReplyDeleteIf things get icky and you need to chill, go to the Shakespeare and Co. bookstore (it's across from one of the NYU buildings, 716 Broadway @ Washington Place) and pet one of their cats. They roam around the store. And sit on your lap.
!Me, not doing work, while at work? SHOCKING. haha, update, dear dara! Also, my croton bed still has your name on it.... you KNOW you want a 3 minute commute to the train station... then a 45 min ride to grand central... just sayin
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